aliceinanotherland asked: Being a darkskin girl I have noticed less stigma against my complexion. B U T alot of the time when I get compliments from white people about my skin I feel like im being fetish'ed. Like im seen as an exotic thing rather then a normal human being.
Fetishization and Exotification are things that freak me out and bother me quite a bit. I’m not sure of any black girl who enjoys that kind of thing. I know there’s some white people out there who just compliment anybody who looks nice, including black people they see with nice skin/hair etc, and just move along.
But you always know it’s fetishy by the way they do and say things. Saying creepy things like "OH MY GOD, I love your deep, rich, ebony brown-cocoa sexy-dark-black as onyx—veil that is your lovely skin. It’s so African and beautiful. And SENSUAL!" All while staring in deep fascination at your skin. (watch out for that word sensual, dead giveaway)
(Okay…maybe it’s not always that obvious… but sometimes it might as well be.) In all honesty though, I’ve seen a great deal of white men who are are just fetishizers. Sometimes who don’t even want to admit it.
No one wants to be some white person’s token ebony object. I don’t blame you for feeling that way, but be sure to let the person know, if you can, that you’re not their little toy. Also don’t take every compliment from a white person the wrong way. Use your senses. I know from personal experience that white people can really just be giving a compliment. One was when my friend introduced me to this white guy one time. Normal tall brunette guy. He saw my hair which is in long Marley braids right now and was just like “Hey, I like your hair, it’s pretty cool.” I said thanks and that was it. He didn’t try to touch it, he didn’t stare creepily, it was fine honestly.